This is it.

Psalm 15

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

2 He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart

3 and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,

4 who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,

5 who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken.

AND

Matthew 5:8:

8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.

This is what I want. I want to see God. I don't want to live my life day after day without purpose. I don't want to go to work every day and see things in the natural.....as tasks that have to be done just so that I can get a paycheck every two weeks. I want to see through the four walls of my office and see what God is doing there. He's doing something! I know it! But I can't see it if I'm covered in my old self. I don't want to go to church on Sunday because it is something that I SHOULD do, because that is what good people do and it looks good.....or because it is a social event, or even because I just enjoy it. I want to go there and hear God speak to His people. I want to SEE His work within us and watch as He sends us out as an army to fight His war.

I want to live on His holy hill and dwell in His sanctuary.

Ok already.....here's your update.

Not really sure what to put on here, but I guess I'll just start with some things I've noticed. There are a few things that I feel have been being repeated to me. #1 - Purification, #2 - Order, #3 - Splinters. I don't know if these have great significance, but when I feel like God is repeating things through His chosen teachers and preachers of the Word, I try to listen up and take notice.

1. I feel like God is calling me, more than ever, to holiness...to let Him strip down the layers of sin and selfishness and to become what He meant for me to be. I mean, of course, this is a calling for any Christian. But, I think this is bigger than that. More urgent. So, I'm thinking, why do I need to be purified? And, not only me, but the church as a whole....because, I feel that God is calling His church to this process as well. When we let go of the sin in our lives, we are closer to God. We are in alignment with His will. We are in a place where we can hear Him. We can be touched by Him and moved according to His plan. I think God is calling me to this process so that I can be ready for something.

2. Our God is a God of order. He has a plan laid out and steps in which He will carry out that plan. As a Christian, my steps are ordered by Him. Something I have begun to realize is, that since He is a God of order, I cannot keep things in order MYSELF. This thought drives me crazy!!! I am a person of order! =) I like things to be done a certain way, on my timing. No wonder I have come across disappointments in my life! I need to rely on God more to plan my life. I mean, He's got it planned out anyway and His way is best, so why don't I just follow Him?

3. Splinters. Jesus came to earth as a man, a carpenter, and carried a cross. He had splinters. We should have splinters from carrying our own cross daily. I find it strange that this illustration was used in two different services I have attended in the past week. Not sure where to go with that....just interesting.

That's all I've got for now.

Peace!

Me without You?

I'm not a huge Avalon fan, but I was listening to this song this week and a line in it really hit me. (See below, emphasis added to said line.) Have you ever fallen into the trap of living like the world? You start to think that, hey, this isn't so bad. I can still be a Christian and do some of the things the world thinks is ok (even though my gut tells me it's wrong). The Bible doesn't specifically say that this is wrong, so I can justify it. I can live without seeking God on this. You convince yourself that no one will get hurt. But, really, you're hurting yourself and you're hurting God. When you truly know Jesus Christ, you will never be the same inside. You can go back to living like the world, but you will KNOW that it is wrong. The Spirit living inside you knows it's wrong. We long to be close to Jesus and to the truth, even when we stray from the path.


Avalon - I Don't Want To Go
From the album Oxygen

You changed my world
When You came to me
You drove a passion
In my soul down deep
Lord, to follow You in everything

I don’t want to go somewhere
If I know that You’re not there
'CAUSE I KNOW THAT ME WITHOUT YOU
IS A LIE
And I don’t want to walk that road
Be a million miles from home
Cause my heart needs to be
Where You are
So I don’t want to go

So come whatever
I’ll stick with You
I’ll walk You’ll lead me
Call me crazy or a fool
For forever I promise You that

Without Your touch
Without Your love
Filling me like an ocean
For Your grace is enough
Enough for me
To never want to go somewhere
If I know that You’re not there

I had a beautiful weekend. Stace came home to visit! I got to spend time with my "Soul Sisters". Yeah, that's a cheesy term they used at Revolve. But, that's what they are. They are my sisters in Christ - personalized gifts from God. I had a great time and felt even more thankful (if that's even possible!) for the blessings in my life. Anways, here we are....

Bon, Stace (with baby Morris), and me.
















A couple of pics of me and Stace Sunday morning after church.....

I love....



and...

Of Ants and Men

Ok, I know....I'm on a roll now and can't stop. But, here's another thing I was thinking about while driving out to my parents' house last night. It is amazing that God speaks to us. I have heard the way God relates to us explained by imagining if God were a human and people were ants. An ant cannot possibly understand anything in our world - what we say when we speak, the reasons we do things - they can't even comprehend us......in the same way that we don't understand everything about God. He's too big, too powerful....He's so above us in every way, that we don't understand the reasons He does things. Yet, He reaches us. Somehow, He is able to break through, into our little world and speak to us. Can you imagine trying to communicate with an ant???? It would be impossible! It doesn't matter how many different ways we would try to talk to an ant, it would never understand. But, God is so awesome, that He can do the impossible. And, He does it without us even SEEING Him. He speaks to us without us even actually HEARING Him. I know, maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal to anyone else, but the more I think about, the more AWESOME it becomes in my mind.

My listening ears are turned on now....

Last Sunday was a wake up call for me. Not that I didn't already realize that I wasn't focusing on God enough, but I was officially called on it. Several in Sunday School were talking about how they felt the Spirit moving. Basically, they had an uncertainty of what is happening right now, but agreed that God is doing SOMETHING. When Penny asked me directly what I was feeling, honestly I was startled.....because, I haven't been paying attention. I have not been seeking the Spirit's movement around me, here lately. I have been doing my own thing.

I'm listening now.

----------------------------------

I have mixed emotions about how this weekend was. It was good FOR me, but not such a fun experience. I ended up going to "The Revolve Tour" (kind of last minute), not with my church, but with the church group of the lady I work with. It is like "Women of Faith", but for young girls. For anyone who has been to a Women of Faith conference, you know that it is kind of a bittersweet experience. It is a very good program, but you'd better be ready to have your toes stepped on.....and to be in tears all day. That's how Revolve was as well. In fact, I was in tears as soon as we all stood up to sing the very first song. And....it had nothing to do with the song. It was the whole environment. Here I am, standing amongst 7,000 mostly teenage girls. God has really been laying young people on my heart. And, as I looked out over the crowd, I was overwhelmed with love. I know that sounds strange.....I only knew about 20 out of the 7,000. But, what I saw when I looked around, were thousands of promises for hope. I saw God's daughters. And, it made me remember myself at their age....back when I first came to know Christ....when all I wanted to do was live for Him and be a light for my unsaved friends. I was so excited back then. I just wanted to protect those girls from the world. If they could only just stay in that arena, where they were safe from the ideas the world throws at them. If they could keep their innocence. Yeah. That is what I felt.



I LOVE Tammy Trent...


Esther, Courtney and Jordi















And, the tears were back in Sunday School today. Melissa Garrison is going to be teaching us for awhile. She is an anointed teacher...I felt God's presence in every word that left her mouth. Can't explain that, but.....it is like fire. And, I'm not pentecostal, so I don't normally speak in that way, but that's how it is. What she said today though, was an answer to something I've been praying about. You see, I am a dreamer (literally). All my life, I have had vivid dreams. My family has always been amazed at the crazy stuff I dream. A lot of it is just that.....crazy stuff that is hiding somewhere in my brain and decides to show up when I sleep. Some of it, however, I believe to be God-given (and sometimes demon-inhabited...that's another discussion). Anyway....for several months, I have been dreaming about wars. Some are wars here on earth. Some have been dreams of the last and final war, between heaven and hell and the people on both sides. And, I am always a part of them. Either I am training to be in a war, or I am gathering weapons, or I am running alongside Jesus....but I'm always IN the war. This is kind of a strange thing for me to dream, because I am in no way militarily inclined. I don't view myself as the type of person who would be a soldier in the army....in fact, that is the last thing I would want to do. I do know that I will be in the last battle with Jesus, so that I understand a little more, but as far as my dreams about training and that sort of thing.....it is very uncharacteristic. And, not really something that is even on my mind. Along with these dreams, there is a name that I have felt God speaking to me. I can't explain that either, except that it is a word that has been on my mind...and it keeps coming back. I have been praying about what it means, and trying to figure out why it is on my mind. Today, Melissa told us that there are many names that people will call us. The world gives us names, like "stupid", "unimportant", "ordinary"....but, God gives us a new name. In the Bible, He gave people new names. God has been whispering to me His name for me. I don't think I'm going to share it yet, because I still don't fully understand it's meaning in my life. But, does anyone else feel that God has given them a new name? Or am I the only crazy one out there? Haha. You all are going to think I'm a looney-toon now! =) Oh well!

Hope everyone has a good week! Love you all.