So, I've been reading the book "Blue Like Jazz" by Don Miller. Loving it! But, it is really challenging me. His friend tells him that what you believe is what you do, not what you say. Not a mind-blowing concept, right? Wrong! I talk about believing a lot of things. I think about what I believe all the time. But, do I really believe what I think I do? Or what I want to? For instance, I say I believe in helping people (the poor, hungry, spiritually lost...), but I go about the majority of my days doing nothing to help them. What does that say about what I really believe? It says I don't really care about those people. Maybe I don't. I mean, I was born a selfish being wanting nothing but for my own needs to be met. Have I really changed that much from when I was born? Aren't I still screaming and crying "Take care of me! Love me! Pay attention to me! Feed me!" I've been thinking about this over the past week. Wondering how I can change what I believe.....who I am. Of course, I can't. I can't do a thing about who I am, but God can. He has changed many things in me since I've known Him. He has so much more to change though. I don't want to forget that I still need Him. I don't want to come to a point where I think I'm "good". I always want Him to be changing me. I want to be more and more like Christ. So, I need to keep praying for God to change my heart. My insides have to change in order for my actions to change and affect the world. I want to believe that I care about others like Christ does, but if I'm honest, I'm just not there yet. I need God to change what I believe.
