I must admit, it has been a trying week. But, I heard this song by Casting Crowns last weekend, that is awesome. God is always there, even in times when life is like a storm. This is the song...

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I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen"
and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God
Who gives and takes away

(Chorus)
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God
Who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
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I also had a wonderful evening with Derek last night, which took my mind off of everything. Thank you. =)

Bonnie's dad passed away this morning. I can't imagine going through losing both of your parents at our age. It is a great comfort to know, however that both Bill and Sheila are with our Heavenly Father. Bon and so many others prayed for their salvation and God was faithful in bringing the both of them home to Him. It's funny how when someone passes away, you try to remember the last time you saw them. Of course, I saw Bill Friday night in the hospital, but he wasn't able to talk to any of us. But, before that, I saw him at church a couple of weeks ago. We had a potluck after church and I sat with Bill, Bonnie, Skyler, Philip and Sherry. He was chatting away...asking me all kinds of questions about what is going on in my life. I feel bad that I can't remember much of the conversation. I was too wrapped up in the fact that my house was on tour that day and all kinds of other stuff going on in my life . I really should have paid more attention. I should pay more attention all the time to people and little things, like conversations at potlucks. But, Bill and Sheila are very dear to my heart and I will see them again someday, so we can get back to that conversation. =) And, Bon, I love you. You are one of the strongest people I know.

Here is a quote from the book (Captivating) us ladies are reading for Bible Study: "Every woman knows that she is not what she was meant to be. And she fears that soon it will be known - if it hasn't already been discovered - and that she will be abandoned." I could totally relate to the whole chapter we read this week, but that part sums it up. It is so hard not to fear being abandoned by others, when it has happened to you before. And I do try to cover up my insides by trying to make my outside pretty, or else by keeping myself so busy that I don't have time to think about what is going on inside. And I know that God will never abandon me, but being the ignorant person that I am, I also care what people think. I don't want people leaving me or not liking me because they find out what I'm really like. Because what I'm really like can be messy and confusing and totally NOT in control. I am a total control freak with things I CAN control, but those other things that I can't, I try to ignore. And my being in control means that I don't trust God. That's rough. There are definite things that I need to give over to Him.

I hope everyone has a good week! I plan on trying to survive another crazy one. God bless!